Peeps always tell me you've never really been "in love" with someone. We've never seen you head over heels for a guy(maybe because I chose to keep my lovelife to me and mine)... Ummm I guess you idiots haven't been looking close enough at my silly ass. I've been in love with this guy for the past three years, come on now friends if you haven't seen that, then you're blinder than me and I'm freaking blind as a bat.. Thank god for glasses or else I'd be fucked.... Well anyways.. Yea dummies I love him and his name wont be mentioned because he's cool like that. It hasn't been easy for me. I've been hurt by a guy like the other one million women in the world, and yea its taken me sometime to really get over my hurt from previous relationships... But I've learned to look past the hurt and really when you find a new love its all different. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that love is beautiful, love changes people its the best feeling in the world yea ok... Bullshit we all know that's a daaam lie.... My friends I'm not here to paint a pretty picture for ya. I know alot of you come to me with questions because I tell you straight out and leave the bullshit out. I don't care about hurting your feeling why because I would want you to tell me something and leave the bullshit out.. Come straight with it no telling me "how do I tell you this without hurting your feelings" Umm yea just say what you gotta say.. I hate when my girls do that shit.
So the reason for my blog today is that I've been thinking alot about my love life and how its been really shitty, and I sit and think is it me. Is it something I did or they way I don't care what my significant other does when I'm not around... How maybe this love has just turned into friendship when at one point it was all I could think about, and now I don't really sit there and think why hasn't he called me, is he seeing someone else, why does he only call when he needs me to do something for me or he wants to bust one hahaha... Then there's all the dumb fights over the smallest thing Oh lord.....It started to get old, so yes I'll admit that there was times where I wanted to give up so bad and then there was times where I was like ummm is he really what I want, does he really make me happy. Then there's the whole my family thinks I'm your sidepiece to your other girl. So yea even though all this was running in my head I still stuck it threw... I was like fuck it I'm 27 yrs old I'm not not getting any younger and I don't wanna be dating the rest of my life. I want to settle down with someone and just that one person. But then came the biggest heartache of all, when we broke up and didnt talk at all for about two months...
I mean it was hard to get over the initial shock of me really being single, I mean we had broken up before for a day or two nothing serious. But this a whole two months without talking texting or anything was CRAZY. It had never happened to your girl before. So after not thinking about what I did wrong I sat there and thought. You were the best girlfriend you could be to him and if he couldn't appreciate that then its on him right. So even tho we're now trying to make things better with us its still a lil hard to trust him when he says he loves me, because he rarely said it before and all of a sudden its the last thing he says before he hangs up the phone, or I get a random text that says I love you. And it just makes my heart melt. Dammit WHY does this have to happen. Why does the fact that you love some make you do all that... Shit how come I cant just be strong anymore, how come I can't just pretend that I didn't see the text or hear him say that he loves me. why when I see him I get that feeling in my heart and when he smiles at me that feeling gets me again... HELLLP
Ooooh I know why.. I'm a sucker for him and I'm a sucker for love
Love is like fire,You know it will hurt you and we still decide to play with it....
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
No comments:
Post a Comment